POISONOUS PRIMATES ATTACK!!! ...or maybe not attack so much as stare at you in dismay.

This post is dedcated to my friend Nicholas, who has developed an intense and abiding love for Slow Lorises, rivaled only by his love for Glitter Body Paint.



Slow Lorises (Nycticebus sp.)

You may know these animals, because videos of adorable pet Slow Lorises have become somewhat popular on sites like Youtube and Vimeo (See HERE). This slow moving (as the name suggests), nocturnal primate (as the big eyes suggest) is found in the forests of Eastern and Southeast Asia, where they feed on a variety of small animals. Though they may not look like like primates (the group monkeys and apes are in), they are indeed primates. Lorises are in a group called the Prosimians, which are the most primitive group of primates including Lorises, Lemurs, Tarsiers, and Bush Babies. Let's take a look at the 3 species of Slow Loris...


The Greater or Sunda Slow Loris (N. coucang)


Lorises are opportunistic predators, picking up whatever small animals they happen to find while climbing through the trees.


Their feet are adapted well to an arboreal existence. The grip of a Loris on branches can be extremely strong.


This Sunda is really quite amused with your banal interpretation of Dada imagery in current youth oriented popular culture.


Slow Lorises have a poison gland on the inside of the elbow, which the mother may sometimes rub on her babies to make them unpalatable to predators. They may also lick the gland, thus mixing the poison with their saliva, giving them a venomous bite.


Bengal Slow Loris (N. bengalensis)


This Bengal Slow Loris, which is considered a vulnerable species by conservation scientists due to habitat destruction and over hunting for traditional medicine, hangs on a vine at the Frou Frou Club... and thinks your ensemble is ABSOLUTELY DIVINE!


A baby Bengal Slow Loris that was born into a zoo as a part of a captive breeding program, Programs like this may be the last chance for many endangered species.


Pygmy Slow Loris (N. pygmaeus)


"NOOOOOO???!!! He said WHAT? NO... HE... DIDN'T?!
Well, I'd tell him he need to stop comin round my job if i was you!"


The Pygmy, the smallest of the Slow Lorises, has become a sought after animal in the exotic pet trade. Most of your amusing videos are of the adorable Pygmy Slow Loris.


"No honest, i was just reaching for a Cheeto, I SWEAR!"


Pygmy Slow Lorises, like this incredibly precious baby, were greatly depleted in number during the vicious imperialist aggressions in Viet Nam, Cambodia and Laos... and the Freemasons have yet to publicly apologize to them for it.